|
TimeWise |
I have some favorite activities. I have some hobbies, and I have preferences. I like a wide range of things, but above all else I especially like my time. Of all my possessions, I keep the tightest reign on my time. I find that time is my most valuable possession. I am very guarded against giving away time. I do not like to answer the telephone. Wen I do, I sometimes feel as though the caller has stolen some time from me. I never speak to solicitors or telemarketers. As soon as I realize that I don't know the person on the other end of the line, I say a quick "not interested," and hang up. I don't like people coming to the door. I don't always answer the door. If I am busy doing something, I will look to see if there's a familiar car in the drive, or perhaps a UPS truck, and if I don't like what I see, I ignore the situation entirely. Sometimes, I make social plans with people, and then when the event draws near, I want out. I don't often change my mind once I've made plans, but I will if I feel I need to. I have found that I need to manage and organize my time to my own advantage without guilt. I have a limited ability to be around others. I know this about myself; and I don't make excuses for it. I am OK with meeting my own needs first. I acknowledge that I am important. Every once in a while, I find that I lose track of some of my “time.” There is a place in Milford, Massachusetts near the Milford Whitinsville Regional Hospital at a traffic light where this happens. Whenever I stop on route 16 to wait for a green light, I look over to a large pine tree to my left. It is a really enormous pine tree. I stare at the tree, and I find myself caught up in the tree. I notice the way the wind is gently causing the tree to sway. I see the trees height, and I see the pattern of the branches. I have no sense of time, and then, the light turns green, and I drive away. There is another strange "time-lag" that I sometimes experience while driving longer distances. When I am driving to a place that I have been to once or twice only, I find that I will suddenly realize that I am on a particular piece of road, and have no idea where I am. For that brief moment, I honestly do not know where I am, I am lost and I don't know where I am going. Usually, I just keep on driving, and eventually I will see a landmark that jars my memory (or simply focuses my mind) and I'm "back." But, within that instant, I realize that I have just experienced a very satisfying sense of peace of mind. At those moments, I feel totally free and in a way, timeless. A friend of mine once said that driving is an activity that we relegate to our "inner child" self. She said that it is a mundane and routine activity that does not require our higher consciousness. Perhaps, the return of the higher self into consciousness is what I experience as a "time-lag." I have another special sense of time while lying in bed at night. This can be a troublesome time, but not a totally unpleasant time. I often run scenes through my head at night while lying in bed. Most often, they are wishful thoughts and fantasies. They can be pleasant or not, but either way, I get quite involved in them, and tend to stay up for hours experiencing them. Time goes by in a strange manner during these flights of fancy. Sometimes, I'll look at the clock and see that I have been in bed for only 15 minutes, and other times, I will realize that I have been lying in bed for almost three hours. I think that sometimes I fall asleep and then awaken without realizing I fell asleep. I think that some of my waking wanderings slide into dreams. I don't know for sure. I decided to write about time, and my experience with it, for two reasons. First, I wanted to explain to people something about myself that they may have found puzzling. Second, I wanted to encourage people to be selfish with their time in a healthy way. I don't advocate that people become reclusive and antisocial. I only suggest that we don't always spend enough time with ourselves. I further assert that we need time to assimilate our experiences, organize our thoughts and feelings, and realize our place in the scheme of things. It is my belief that balance and peace of mind come from the steady and deliberate use of our time. A hectic and chaotic approach to time organization may be energizing and exciting. It can provide the impetus for growth and change, but it can be easily overused. A person who is controlled by time, and one who feels as if they do not have enough time, is being run through life by an evil taskmaster. Time can seem to be running out. Time becomes the enemy. But, a person who uses time wisely, one who provides themselves with ample time for thought, organization and relaxation will come to view time as a gift. Time becomes a friend that helps us on our way. Don't be afraid to take time for yourself. You have all the time in the world